Gender according to teens
I was going through boxes of memorabilia from my childhood at my parents’ home recently and came across a clutch of papers from a class I took in high school. I believe it was my freshman or sophomore year and I even vaguely remember participating in the exercise described. Reading the answers my peers and I had been conditioned to give (and believe) saddened me greatly. Here’s what it said:
ANSWERS (FEMALES)
Traits of Femininity
kind
caring
considerate
weak (at heart)
strong
loving
emotional
little
compromise
lady-like
proper
sweet
nice
clean
pretty
obedient
stays home
advisor
maternal
charming
sensitive
soft
calm
outspoken
moody
instinctual
cry
compassionate
frail
tenderness
delicate
Traits of masculinity
brave
big
tall
dirty
mean
angry
strong
shows little emotion
forgetful
goes out and works
handsome
gruff
responsible
insensitive
impatient
authoritative
sweaty
unreasonable
loud
outspoken
don’t cry
friend
advisor
bold
leader
paternal
protector
decision maker
hard worker
pride
strong will
Advantages of being female
live longer
can cry and be emotional
can spend lots of time in the bathroom
just better
guys will get you whatever you want
known as being patient and caring
can get more things done in a quicker amount of time
have an outlook of the future that is reasonable
don’t have to pay on dates all the time
people are easier on girls
can have children
can wear girls and guys clothes
Disadvantages of being a female
monthly cycle
have to carry the baby
PMS
expected to be proper and ladylike all the time
males are given more authority
has to sit down to pee and can’t pee outside
parents won’t allow girls to do as much as boys get to do
bras
being thought of as weak and dumb
Advantages of being a male
makes decisions based on logic
no PMS
no childbirth
don’t have to worry about weight
no monthly cycle
don’t have to squat to pee outside
given authority
can get point across better (is heard more)
don’t have to worry about hair
better at sports
can hold more liquor
know stuff about cars
not expected to look your best all the time
Disadvantages of being a male
expected to be strong
not allowed to cry
people are harder on males
ANSWERS (MALE)
Traits of femininity
independence
outspoken
emotional
mannered
laid back
picky
childbirth
petite
small
high pitched voice
soft
elegant
unconditional love
Traits of masculinity
brave
strong
stud
stubborn
charmer
slob
protective
action
courteous
muscular
large
deep voice
rough
Advantages of being a female
can wear anything
have the upper hand in dating
Disadvantages of being female
worry about weight
Advantages of being male
more persuasive
gets ready in a hurry
Disadvantages of being male
none
That last bit just says it all, doesn’t it?
Another class did the same exercise and their answers were given to us for comparison. They are listed below:
ANSWERS (FEMALE)
Traits of femininity
emotional
boobs
mean at ‘that time of the month’
make-up
jealous
body size
loving
clothing
jewelry
soft skin
sensitive
more socially aware (better manners)
produce babies
gentle
sneaky
romantic
affectionate
smell nice
friendly
smiling
petite
vagina
less body hair
PMS
hips
giggles
pastel colors
nurturing
grace
beauty
Traits of masculinity
macho
personality
tough
cars/trucks
emotionless
facial hair
drinking
cursing
rough skin
lots of body hair
no boobs
no kids
hard to understand
unaffectionate
liars
heartless
sporty
hard-headed
broad shoulders
deep voice
eat a lot
penis
dirt
unreliable
laid back
easier to talk with
Advantages to being female
have children
get what we want
don’t have to be afraid to cry
lower insurance
do better at things
don’t have to ask guys out
have breasts
Disadvantages to being female
have to sit to pee
monthly period
childbirth
bras
reputation
discrimination
not much freedom
not much respect
paid less
sexually harassed
gets hurt easier
parents are more strict on females
emotional
show hurt feelings more
not respected
smaller body
people don’t take you seriously
Advantages of being a male
more jobs
can’t have babies
can get away with being stupid
no bras
no period
more freedom
no worry about reputation
can’t get pregnant
stronger
don’t get harassed
parents not as strict
can hold in feelings
don’t have to worry about looks
don’t have to style hair
can pee standing up
Disadvantages of being male
can’t have children
get blamed for more
they have to hold more things inside
they have to ask girls out or make the first move
aren’t beautiful
ANSWERS (MALE)
Traits of femininity
loving
kind
clothes
face
soft
gentle
smooth skin
good heart
shiny hair
compatible
open minded
boobs
butt
sensitive
small hands
short
tearful
moody
crosses legs
Traits of masculinity
short hair
large hands
deep voice
facial hair
likes cars
macho
not emotional
nasty minded
strong
sportsman
tough
mean
competitive
Advantages of being female
gets more things
look better
smell better
all the attention for looking good
can blame everything on PMS
can whine to get their way
none
Disadvantages of being female
we make more money
parents are looser on guys
being a female in a male-dominated society
can almost always be forced to do something against their will
hooters
not as tough
changing name when married
PMS
Advantages of being male
make more money
can hold his own in any physical confrontation
being a male in a male-dominated society
can’t have kids
pee standing up
can’t have PMS
Disadvantages of being male
none
affirmative action works against males
more responsibility
having the pressure of keeping the household afloat
not being able to show emotion like females
So there we have it, folks. These were the opinions of probably 50-60 teenagers, over 15 years ago. Do you think much has changed?
I shudder to think at what my responses would have been when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school. And then I wonder: which book, or class, or encounter, or song saved me from a life of ridiculous thinking about gender?!
This is yet another good reminder to take a second and think carefully about how I can raise my boys *not* to think that femininity makes for weak, soft, jealous leg-crossers (heh) and that masculinity makes for gruff, emotionless, mean slobs.
Kristen´s last [type] ..Week 5- The Princess and the Pouch
[Reply]
Well, as a teacher of teenage of boys and girls in an inner London school I can only say, I fear things haven’t changed. I’m an English teacher, and so encourage a feminist discussion of the texts we read, but these sorts of assumptions and stereotypes dominate and it is truly difficult to overcome.
I fear it really is entrenched into their youth culture, with words such as ‘gash’ meaning women and (this is truly awful) ‘beat’ meaning sex. It will be difficult for this generation to mature their opinion of women if their language perpetuates a negative view.
Kate Treacy´s last [type] ..Fraudulent Feminist no 1- Birthday Boy
[Reply]
Yep. The world is backwards. I definitely disagree with most said about both genders. I am female. I am strong. I can make myself heard. I can pee standing up. I am compassionate. I smell good (most of the time). I am resilient. I am loving. I am sensitive. I don’t blame stuff On PMS. I don’t get more stuff than males do. My parents do however limit my activities, which is something I despise them for but I love them for everything else. Ta.
[Reply]