Baby weight is bullshit
I got the following press release yesterday and couldn’t resist sharing. You too could have a ‘yummy mummy tummy’ if you’re willing to forego all other activities and dedicate yourself singularly to achieving your pre-pregnancy shape or carving out a whole new shape for yourself altogether! Imagine that.
My comments are in brackets.
GET A ‘YUMMY MUMMY TUMMY’ IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME
Having a newborn to look after is a full time job, leaving most new mums little time to think about anything more than grabbing some extra sleep when the opportunity arises [But don't! That would be selfish. Instead, tone that mound of flesh on your abdomen before the flab swallows you whole and you become - *whisper* - FAT!]. Despite wanting to snap back into pre-pregnancy shape overnight, reality for most is something of an uphill struggle made harder by the lack of time and energy to get out and exercise; a vicious cycle which in turn can dampen spirits and leave new mums feeling even more sluggish and tired [Exacerbated by the fact that new mums don't even have time to pee alone, let alone work out for an hour].
Janey Holliday founder and Director of Fit For A Princess [not surprised in the least by this name] - outdoor and online fitness for women, is a committed mum of twins; Harry and Monty, 18 months [Did you hear that, lazy, non-committed mums of mere singletons? TWINS. And damn it, she's COMMITTED!] Within seven weeks of giving birth Janey had gone from a 58 to 28 inch waist [Um, wasn't most of that baby? I think everyone's waist measurements go down considerably after they've given birth] and was back in her pre-pregnancy jeans. Janey followed her own GUT BUSTER programme which is about eating the right foods, having a healthy gut and working on activating muscles and regaining strength. If women start doing sit-ups too soon, its not only dangerous but can actually make your muscles dome out [But obviously it was okay for Janey because she was back in tip-top shape a mere seven weeks later! I suppose by 'too soon' they mean while your perineum is still being stitched. But once you're on the recovery ward...it's crunch time!]
Within 13 weeks, she was back in her exercise gear teaching her daily bootcamps at the crack of dawn in the middle of Winter [With a live-in nanny this is super-simple to arrange]! This impressive transformation was not the result of some crazy fad diet or excessive exercise regime to shed the baby pounds in record time, but simply a measured approach to sensible eating and exercise, the philosophy upon which Janey founded Fit For A Princess.
“Getting up early cold be perceived as hell for a lot of new Mum’s, but by ensuring I went to bed when the twins did, having a coffee before I left the house and playing uplifting music in my car on the way to the sessions, meant I had more energy here than any other time of the day. For me, and the Mum’s doing the bootcamp it was actually ME time – no babies, no house to tidy, no business to run, just a group of women chatting and gossiping while we worked out – heaven!”, Janey comments. [Wait. Do you mean that by sacrificing the entirety of my evenings and time spent with my partner or others, I can go to bed at 8pm and be ready to wake up at 4am for a little ab-toning and a gossip with the girls before returning to start my day as baby-wrangler and housekeeper? Sweet!]
However, for some, in the first few weeks and months, getting outdoors to do a class and finding both the time and energy to exercise is not always a reality [And for some, that struggle continues until the child leaves home at 18+; the horror!]. From her experience as a new mum coping with the juggling act of looking after her twins and herself, Janey has developed over 200 minutes of outdoor video workouts which are broken into 15 different sections and a variety of cartoon illustrated fitness ebooks, allowing Mum’s to fit in some highly effective exercises that can be done in stolen moments throughout the day, from the comfort and privacy of your front room. The exercises are aimed not just at helping to shift excess baby weight and tone new mummy tummies [is there a more horrid, insipid phrase?], but to boost energy levels and confidence through the positive effects of exercise. Plus you don’t have to be an exercise guru to do them! [Indeed. You need only be committed to choosing exercise over sleep, adult interaction, hobbies, fostering relationships or having 'Me time' that doesn't involve sweat or pain]
If you live in London or near one of the Fit a Princess franchisees and are settled into a routine and finding more time to get out and about, a 2 week bootcamp is a great way to kick start a new healthy approach to exercising, even if you haven’t exercised for a while. These intensive courses run throughout the year at baby-friendly times and are specifically designed to maximise inch loss, shape change and fitness levels, as well as providing an incentive to get out the front door into the fresh air and meet new, like minded people.
Exercise doesn’t have to be a burden and getting back into shape after having a baby needn’t feel like an unattainable goal [But it does need to be a goal!]. With the right approach and guidance, and a little bit of motivation [Just buy a few women's glossies and you'll be hating yourself in record time], you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll feel the positive benefits of exercise for both you and your baby [and your man and society, natch].
I quote what one lady said , “The reality is that men are wired to react to female sexual displays. What they do about it is another story. Nevertheless, most women know very well that they do this to men by displaying their breasts. That is a good part of why women do it for the power it has to open doors and male wallets.
Well I’m teaching English to a class of adult students and one of the female students who has a beautiful figure and big gorgeous breasts comes into class wearing tight skimpy tops and tight pants which emphasize her breasts and her figure. She often asks me over to her desk with a question. She’s friendly to me and comes up to my desk to ask something . Is she teasing me ?she must know that it really turns me on. Or is she just being friendly -is she deliberately trying to turn me on for fun- I don’t know why she dresses like that in my class. I’ve been very helpful and nice to her with her English studies and this is how she repays me -sexually teasing me-Ladies what do you think?
Ross
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What a woman wears does not DO anything to men. Men REACT to what a woman is wearing. Men are not single-celled creatures who women dazzle and render helpless with the sheer power of their breasts; men see breasts and use them as an excuse to treat a woman badly or make assumptions about her character or justify his ‘right’ to control women and how they look.
Simply possessing a female body and wearing clothing that does not hide that fact or may, indeed, ‘display’ parts of her body means no more or less than what it is — what she is wearing on her body. It is not an invitation to hit on her, to call her names or to rape her. Your female student is likely calling you over to her desk to ask questions because you’re her teacher and she is trying to learn a skill from you, not because she wants to hold you hostage in her cleavage or ‘tease’ you.
In short, get over yourself, Ross. What this woman wears is not about you at all, it is about her. So stop perving on her and just get on with teaching her how to speak English. Maybe then she can look you in the eye and give you a nice, clear ‘Fuck off’ when you start ogling her and thinking she owes you something because she has big tits.
[Reply]
Kelly Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:33 AM
@Fertile Fem
Wow, you give Ross a lot more respect and attention than he affords, oh, 51% of the world’s population.
(as a big-busted woman I could write TOMES on what men have done re: entitlement to my body esp. my breasts – not that smaller-busted women don’t get it too! But to give people like Ross credit, I guess I am “asking for it” given my “skimpy”/”slutty” attire.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Black Bean Veggie Burgers =-.
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I love this. I find this particular brand of fat-phobic misogyny particularly galling – not only is the emphasis on appearance and weight offensive and ridiculous, but the application of it to new mothers who are, well, rather busy with more important things is just revolting. So I like what you’ve done here, I had a giggle. Sharing on FB now.
Oh, and @Ross is a troll, right? Because… ugh. UGH!
.-= Spilt Milk´s last blog ..Quick hit- where are the fat facts =-.
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I’ve got 18 month old twins too. I had a 48 inch waist, so Janey’s beating me there. Mine’s probably less than that now, but not by much. Sorry Janey. Clearly I’m letting you down, my husband down, Ross down and, most of all, myself, down.
I’m delighted. If ever there was anything that made me want to eat cake and treat the body that produced my wonderful children, that’s it.
.-= Harriet´s last blog ..Digitally re-Masterpieces – An Invitation =-.
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Kelly Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:41 AM
Yes Harriet. Will you PLEASE think about Ross?
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Black Bean Veggie Burgers =-.
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FertileFem, like always you deliver an excellent post. You pretty much nailed all the problems with this kind of stuff.
Since some more people are starting to clue into some of the harmful effects of constantly policing women’s bodies, body-shaming, hateful and sexist commentary, etc etc., promos like this are avoiding out-and-out pejoratives and will pooh-pooh “dieting” and starvation. It’s all about “health” and “looking one’s best” and being empowered (empowered enough to hate yourself as-is).
My health is great. And I’ve got a 36″ waist and weigh 190 lbs. 86 kg) at 5′ 5″, average height. Weirdly though I swear, even despite my health and activity and a healthy diet, I’ll never end up as a “success story” on these magazines… I can’t fathom why (maybe it’s because I’m considered a monstrous wildebeast according to the beauty standard which, make no mistake, is not about health and everything about lady-hate).
At a US size 14 I’m the American average but in all honesty I, and any woman about a size 10 and up, are considered too gross for fashion, clothing, role models, etc etc – regardless of our health and self-care. (Not saying women below a size 10 are exempt from criticism – they aren’t).
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Black Bean Veggie Burgers =-.
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Itt’s the randomness of it that gets me. I mean, why are we all obsessed with a flat tummy? Why not thin arms, or toned shoulders, or muscly calves? Why the tummy? Or is it exactly because it’s so hard for post-baby women to have a flat tummy, and therefore it’s the ideal thing for us to beat ourselves up with? I guess that’s it.
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I think you’ve nailed it, Iota. The stomach has to be one of the areas which is most affected by childbearing and if we can pathologise a bit of fat, saggy skin or stretchmarks, we can make money out of them. The reams of creams in the chemist purporting to stop stretchmarks for massively inflated prices is ridiculous.
I didn’t believe ‘real’ people like Janey existed until I went for a meal with my sister in law and her very glamorous friends recently and they were all talking about going back out running within a few weeks of giving birth so they could lose weight and tone up.
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